22 things i learned by 22
It’s my 22nd birthday today, so what better way to celebrate than by doing what I love- POSTING ON THE BLOG :) So, here are 22 of my mantras that have gotten me to this point. Enjoy xoxo
All you have is every day
It’s only a season of waiting if you stay stagnant. No, you don’t have everything figured out yet- but you never will. There will always be something in your life that you’re waiting on or wanting to change; it’s human nature to constantly crave more than what you have. But if you zoom out and take a look at this entire life, the God-willing 80 or so years you spend on this Earth, all you really have is a bunch of ordinary days all strung together. Stop wasting them by being frustrated with what you don’t have control over, and take advantage of what you do. Pick up a bouquet of flowers along with your groceries. Leave your phone inside and drink your morning coffee outside. Call an old friend on your daily commute. Shape every day, every task, to feed your soul a little.
Nerding out is cool
Nonchalance is the plague of our generation. HAVE SOME PERSONALITY. HAVE SOME DEPTH. IF YOU HAVE PASSIONS IN LIFE NERD THE HELL OUT ON THEM. SHARE IT WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE FULLY. STOP WATERING YOURSELF DOWN TO FIT IN WITH THE CROWD. The only people that are going to judge you for going after what you love are the people who aren’t doing it themselves.
You’ve never seen your own face
You’ve only ever seen it in reflections, photos, or videos—not the real thing. Not the way others see you. You’ve never seen how you look at someone when you’re in love. You’ve never seen the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. You’ve never seen your face in full laughter, or the way your presence softens a room. You have never fully witnessed the impact of your genuine, radiating beauty. And there’s something so exhilarating about the magic you don’t even know you carry.
Let them and let me
Mel Robbins changed my life with this mindset. The only person you have control over is yourself. If they don’t want to be in your life anymore, let them. If they want to judge you, let them. If they want to leave you out, let them. You can’t control what people do, but you can control how you respond. So instead, say, let me. Let me handle it with grace. Let me move forward. Let me choose peace. Mel said it perfectly: “It’s about giving other people the space and the grace to live their lives—and then giving yourself the same.” I highly recommend listening to her podcast or reading her book. This mindset is a game-changer.
It really is that damn phone
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like every time I open up social media at this point I can feel my mental health deteriorating. I learned that the longer I go without checking social media in the morning, the better my mindset is throughout the day. Try replacing doomscrolling in the morning with doing the NYT games or journaling or even just sitting alone with your thoughts. Just do something to let your brain roam instead of immediately feeding it with content you don’t need to see.
Write everything down
There’s something about pen and paper that makes things feel more real. Write your goals to ground them. Write your emotions to release them. Write the people you love little notes so they’ll always have something to hold onto. And you never know—six months from now, you might find an old grocery list buried under your bed and suddenly remember exactly who you were in that moment.
The right song makes any situation better
Music is one of the most powerful things ever created. Whether it’s quietly humming your favorite song to yourself to calm down when you’re anxious, or if it’s a song you associate with someone because you met them while it was playing- music. changes. everything. I could write a novel on how much of an impact it’s had on me all my life. Treat your daily life as if it’s a movie and use your playlists as your soundtrack. The right song can entirely shape your mindset and the energy in any given situation.
Talk to EVERYONE
The cashier at the grocery store, the person standing by you in line for coffee, your friend’s grandma. It doesn’t matter who it is, just talk to them. Not only could you be completely turning their day around, there is also something so liberating in knowing that every single person on this planet is living a different life right now. The world is so big and there are so many interesting people, you never know who you’re gonna meet-the best gift you could ever give yourself is getting the chance to get to know them.
Look at yourself the way you look at the person you love the most
You’re the one person you’re guaranteed to spend forever with—so start showing yourself some love. Try looking at yourself through rose-colored glasses. Romanticize your own existence. Instead of picking yourself apart in the mirror, notice how much life is in your eyes. Realize that every detail of your face and body is the physical manifestation of generations of love, strength, and survival. You are someone’s dream realized—don’t forget to treat yourself like it.
There is no such thing as being behind
Say it with me: WHAT’S. MEANT. FOR. YOU. WILL. WAIT. FOR. YOU. No matter what, and no matter how long it takes for you to find it. Everyone has a different path in life and a different timeframe of getting through it. Life is there for you to experience in the present. Yes, plan for the future, but don’t hyper fixate on it so much you don’t allow yourself to live in the present.
Take control of your mind and you take control of your life
Your mindset entirely dictates how things will go for you. If you have the “woe-is-me” mentality constantly, you’ll allow inconveniences to overwhelm you so much you’ll accidentally pass by great experiences. Focus on the positives, and have some confidence in yourself. It’s like the detachment theory- you’re allowed to want something, you’re allowed to work towards a goal- but align your mind to be content with any outcome, and you will attract what’s meant for you.
We accept the love we think we deserve
Mr Anderson from Perks of Being a Wallflower was spot-on with this quote. The things you allow yourself to put up with in a relationship are a direct reflection of how you see yourself. Know your worth. And remember, everyone else is doing the same — whether they realize it or not. If you’re sitting there wondering why someone you know you could love, someone you know you’d be great with, isn’t meeting you halfway, there’s a good chance they’re just wrestling with their own insecurities. Don’t take it personally. Take it as proof that your love deserves to land somewhere steady.
Move.
Take it from Anthony Bourdain: If you have the physical ability, the money, and even the slightest hint of a passion to go somewhere new—go. Don’t spend your whole life in the same 25-mile radius. The world is too big, too weird, and too beautiful to stay put. I’ve noticed that I’ve found little pieces of myself in every place I’ve been, whether it’s the heart of Seattle or remote Botswana.
Say prayers of thanks
So many of us only resort to praying if we want something. Start acknowledging when those prayers get answered- it’s as simple as that.
Sometimes heartbreak is a good thing
We’ve all probably rolled our eyes to the mantra “rejection is just redirection”, but genuinely, it’s true. What’s meant for you will not leave you, at least not for good. If you have a burning desire for something in your heart that just isn’t working out for you, don’t dig yourself in a hole of self-pity. Take it as a chance to become stronger, softer, wiser—whatever version of yourself is needed for what’s ahead. Sometimes the “no” is just making room for the better “yes.”
Stop buying fast-fashion
It’s bad quality, it’s bad for the environment, and 9/10 times it’s not made in a humane way. Invest in quality over quantity. Build your wardrobe out of pieces you know you can get GOOD use from instead of buying tops from Shein in bulk when the straps are going to rip off in one wear anyways. If pricing is the issue, buy second hand- there are SO many great, quality pieces in thrift/vintage stores.
Pay attention to what you give your love to
Don’t pour out all your love and energy into someone who isn’t deserving of it. Take it from my blog entry about crushes- there is nothing wrong with liking someone, but don’t give so much more than you get. Give your love to the people that reciprocate it, and the things you love to do. Romanticize your life instead of other people, and know how precious the love you hold in your heart is. One day you’ll find someone who you’ll know is worthy of receiving it.
Trust your intuition
It’s there for a reason!!! Listen to what your gut instincts are telling you when making a big decision or when you get that little voice in your head telling you to do something. It could save your life and it could change your life.
Confidence will get you farther than anything else
Don’t wear your insecurities on your sleeve for the world to see. The second people realize you doubt something about yourself, it’s only their human nature to either start questioning it along with you, or to create a new insecurity about themselves that they never had before. The more confidence you have in yourself- your beauty, your personality, your work, and what you bring to the table- the more respect and confidence other people will have for you as well.
Experiences > material items
The memories you make will always outlast the things you buy. That concert you went to last minute, the road trip with your best friends, the solo walk through a city you’ve never been to—those are the moments that change your life and shape who you are. The shoes will go out of style, the phone will get old, but the way you felt in a moment will stay with you forever. Spend your time (and your money) on things that make you feel alive.
Personal style is better than what’s trending
Don’t give into whatever is trending, because trends come and go in the blink of an eye. Don’t just wear whatever Alix Earle is wearing- find what looks best on you. Just because it isn’t the same thing everyone else is wearing doesn’t make you weird, it makes you yourself. Wear what you’re most confident in and it will show to everyone around you.
Everything and nothing matters all the same
Stop taking everything so seriously!!! We have one life. ONE. And that life is given to us to experience and enjoy. Take care of your responsibilities, but throw in little sprinkles of joy while you’re at it. Take big leaps of faith. Love with your whole heart. Try new hobbies. Talk to strangers. Let what you’re passionate about guide your life and use excitement as your compass.
